Cheap at Half the Price

By Toni Kief


Cheap at Half the Price

Toni Kief


   Times have changed, my grandmother earned $2 a week on her first job.  I made $1 an hour and was the highest paid kid in the park district.  Today minimum wage guarantees a daily struggle with little hope of relief.  Last Saturday, I used my debit card for a matinee and paid $5 for a drink.  I cannot help but reminisce about my parents sending all four children to a movie with dollar and 4 dimes for candy.  I just bought a pack of gum on sale for a buck. 


Nevertheless, if it is still a penny for my thoughts, this should be a bargain with inflation. 


  • I hope jeans never go out of style.  

  • Was Levi Strauss related to Johan Strauss; they were close in age?

  • Would I be smarter if my brain wasn’t full of trivia?

  • Is Facebook an evil parasite that is set on world domination, and am I just a pawn?

  • Working at a bookstore is probably not as amazing as I imagine.

  • Is the Dali Lama a virgin?  If so, is it required in his line of work or is it a personal choice?

  • Why do many religions consider women to be not only weak but also all that is evil when they bring 90% of the casseroles?

  • I love to write, why do I work so hard at avoiding it?

  • Can anyone spell questionnaire right the first time?

  • Do I have days, weeks or years left? I’m going to regret the hours on Facebook (see #4).

  • Are all the radio and electronic waves pulsing around our earth for my entertainment and phone reception, bouncing off me or trucking straight on through? 

  • Where has compassion gone?  Is it out of style, or replaced by judgment and fear?

  • How hungry was the first person who ate an oyster?  

  • When you receive your first AARP letter, you are already overdue on shredding or donating your bikinis and speedos.

  • If reptiles had fur, I would like them better.

  • Do any of my old loves still think about me, in a loving way?

  • Hate takes up so much energy when indifference is the real opposite of love.

  • I’m certain Joan Rivers stuck to a style of comedy too long.

  • I’m in the first generation raised on processed food; all genetic bets are off.

  • While on the subject, why are our food producers trying to kill us?  That is not a sustainable business plan.

  • Even bad decisions often become historically significant and if not it will be funny.

  • We should begin a class action suit against the person who invented traffic circles. 

  • Is there a chemical in the brain that gives talent, or does the gifted just utilize a part I neglected to activate?

  • Inspiration is just the coolest thing ever.

  • If you were a bird, would you fly high or just skitter around, keeping close to the earth? 


You owe me 2 dimes and a nickel; payment may be made with in kind ponderings or a direct deposit into my 401k. 

About The Author

Toni Kief, a child of the 60s, Midwestern by birth, Northwestern by choice, Toni challenges the boundaries for women of a certain age. After a long career as an insurance adjuster, she fell into writing through a challenge from a friend. She has released her first book, Old Baggage, with two others in the grinder. Toni never dated Mick Jagger, but marched for civil rights, shared bread with icons of politics and art. She is spending her retirement, gathering stories prime for embellishment. Writing has taught her inspiration without perspiration is just a good idea.